Generational clutter and the stuff you are given by family

 Hello. Hello. Welcome to this episode. I'm excited that you're here. If you're a regular listener, you might have noticed that I've taken some time off from making new episodes and I'm back to it. And the reason that I was taking some time off from new episodes is because I am in the middle of hosting a four week decluttering challenge for decluttering Simplified, which is my paid program.

If you are ever interested in getting. More in depth, more hands on support. Decluttering, simplified is a great option. There's a link in the description that you can go check it out if you are interested. But yeah, I'm excited for this episode specifically generational clutter because it's something that comes up a lot.

Sometimes people actually call it generational clutter, but most of the time people talk about it in regards to ha growing up in a certain type of home and then inheriting. Certain types of beliefs, and that's part of it. And then also sometimes you inherit the physical stuff. So we're gonna talk about both sides of generational clutter, stuff that has passed down to you and how to deal with it.

So part of this is like non-physical clutter that we're gonna talk about, and some of it is the physical. So let's start with the nonphysical first, because this is the one. That dominates the majority of this conversation, whether we realize it or not, because you might be inheriting these, this generational clutter in the form of beliefs practices ways of shopping and buying and consuming and holding onto things.

And not actually receiving stuff from your family, like childhood, your childhood stuff. Some people have parents who kept an entire basement worth of your childhood memories and then they give it to you and you're like, I don't know what to do this. I don't want this. Or maybe they passed down, family heirlooms or they just are constantly giving you a lot of stuff, whether it's stuff that they buy, stuff that they thrift, stuff that they, are like their handy downs.

You might get both. But for sure you probably get at least these generational like cluttery thoughts and feelings and habits and beliefs that make letting go difficult. So I did a little bit of like research on this because I love to study like the mind and emotions and psychology and it's. Not accepted in all areas of like modern science or modern psychology, but it is accepted in a lot.

And I have to be completely honest that a lot of times I resonate with these kind of alternative, I don't know what you wanna call it, but. Alternative ideas, because a lot of times, to me, they make sense. And so the one that we're talking about today are genetic memories. And I'll give you an example, but genetic memories are basically the idea that memories, ideas, beliefs, feelings.

F like actual memories can be passed down through genetics right through to your children. Or. Down, further down the line to like your grandchildren. And so you might see okay, yeah, I've experienced this before. But I also see that a lot of scientists out there say that, there's nothing to really prove it.

But here's the example that I have, and you might have the same one, but my daughter, when she was about 12 years old just one night. Recited all of the words to Mc Hammers, you can't touch this. And I was not just the chorus part, right? Or the most known part. It was like the entire song start to finish.

She just sang it all. And I was like, how did you know that? Because I have a unique situation. I'm not saying that my daughter is never around me. They weren't in daycare. She was, if she was in daycare, she was with me in my classroom, so she was always around me. We've had a unique, living situations where we move a lot.

She just got Spotify within the last nine months. And so I'm like, I never listened to that song on repeat. I did listen to that song on repeat when I was about 13 or 14, so I know all of the lyrics by heart and she was like, I don't know. I don't know. I, I. I've never heard this song in my life, but I know it, I know all of it and I know it perfectly.

And so to me, I'm like, I can. And then here's another embarrassing thing, but she did it with an Eminem song the other day, which I know she's not listened to that album of Eminem. At least not enough to like have the lyrics memorized because she hasn't had access to it. And it's like one of his lesser known albums.

I won't say this song, if you wanna know it, you can reach out to. To me and let me know. But we were walking through Barnes and Noble and I said something and she responded with m and m lyrics. And I'm like, how did you know those lyrics? And she was like, I don't know. But I listened to that on repeat again when I was about 13 or 14.

And so to me, I'm like, maybe that's a genetic memory. And you might be listening and be like, wow, okay, that doesn't make any sense. But you also might be listening and be like, okay, yes, I've had those kinds of experience of I shouldn't know this, right? Or how do I know this, right? Or how do my kids know this?

Or how does this work? And sometimes the only things that can ex that can explain it are the things that aren't fully accepted yet or fully understood, like genetic memories. Okay? And the ones that, I just wanted to share that because it's a good story and it paints the picture, what we're about to talk about next when it comes to your generational clutter and the ideas and beliefs and the reasons that your clutter might be hard to let go of.

So you probably have, you've probably said this or you've heard somebody say this before of I struggle, letting go of things. Like I keep all of our Tupperware, I keep all of this, that and excess because my grandparents grew up in the Great Depression, right? And the Great Depression.

It's: 2023

Like maybe your family They taught that style of home management of you keep everything, you don't get rid of anything. You might not know, you don't know when you're gonna be able to get the next thing. And so you've inherited that and you've inherited those beliefs, those habits, those tendencies, those practices, and they're not yours.

Great Depression back in the: 1920

Access to resources is not the same. Like it's not the same. And so we're still operating from these inherited beliefs, memories, habits, whatever you wanna call them. And they don't apply to the life that we're living right now, and they probably aren't. Ideas, beliefs, habits and tendencies that we want for ourselves, right?

You want to declutter. You want to have simplicity. You're overwhelmed. You have too much stuff, it's not valuable. You know that you still don't have what you need when you need it because you can't find it or it gets ruined or expired or whatever it might be. It's overwhelming for you. And so the remedy for this is, Step one, be aware of it.

So that's what I'm hoping this episode is for you is it brings awareness to you, right? And so that it's easier for you to see okay, this. Is an idea that wasn't originally mine, right? I didn't want this. I just inherited this, and I want to let it go. I want to create a new belief. I want to, create different boundaries.

I want to live in a different way, and that's gonna require you to do different things, right? It's going to require you to start letting go of those things that you never let go of, one example. I know my dad listens to my podcast, so funny. If my dad is listening don't be offended. This is just an example that a lot of people can relate to, but saving containers, right?

Like the heavier duty yogurt containers I stuff for like food storage instead of Tupperware, right? That's something that a lot of people keep. But then it trickles into every other area of our life where we're keeping like every single piece of clothing, every single toy, every single whatever it is that might be in your house and it's not working for you.

Especially if you're using an idea that was originated a hundred years ago from your ancestors and trying to apply it now a hundred years later. You still have to be, resourceful and mindful of how you're spending and consuming and storing and keeping, but it's not the same. So you have to act in a different way.

You have to start letting things go. You have to start being different. And that doesn't mean that it has to happen all at once or overnight, or that it has to be really difficult. It just means that you have to do something differently because the way that you change your mind is by changing your actual habits, the things that you do.

And then the mind will follow. It's a lot easier to do it that way than the other way around. But the other things that you might be inheriting generationally, and this is a little bit more obvious, are the physical things, right? So sometimes, it can be We, I touched on it at the beginning of the episode, but your childhood stuff heirlooms, right?

Sometimes air quote heirlooms, it's this is not an heirloom mom. This is just your stuff that you don't want anymore, and you're giving Timmy's hand-me-downs, right? Whether it's furniture or decor or clothes or like makeup and cosmetics, candles. And they're like, I thought you would like this. And you're like, I thank you, but I don't want it.

And it's easier to see this kind of stuff than it is to see your beliefs and your habits. But when it comes to this stuff, like the physical stuff that your family is passing down to you, whether it's new stuff, old stuff, thrifted stuff hand me downs, the way that you be differently with a stuff are starting to create boundaries with your family members, right?

Communicating to them. Thank you so much for thinking of me. I love that you wanted to give this to me. Right now, I just don't have space for it. Maybe you can find somebody else who does have space for it or does want it, and communicating to them like, I'm just trying to downsize. I am trying to just live simpler.

I noticed that I'm spending a lot of my time and energy like. Keeping up with my house and it's really exhausting me. And so my personal goal now is to actually get rid of some stuff rather than continue to accumulate stuff. If there's ever anything that I do need, I'll let you know.

Or if there's anything that the kids need, I will let you know. Cause I know you're so generous and loving and I love that. Those are just some ideas of the conversations that you can have. But it does come down to having strong boundaries, having your own. New, maybe your new strong beliefs, vision for your home, boundaries, creating different ways of living, ways of spending, consuming, keeping things.

So changing yourself in your home and those beliefs for yourself first, and then communicating that to people and, telling people thanks, but no thanks. And if it's stuff that you already have, I wish there was a better way, a better option. But really all you can do is go through it and start to get rid of it just piece by piece, which can be emotionally draining, especially if it's your childhood stuff, especially if it's like a big volume of stuff.

So just take it one, one bit at a time slowly and it will add up, and eventually you'll get out from under that clutter. So that is it for today's episode, generational Clutter. I hope it was helpful for you. I hope it helped you change some of your, my goal with this episode was to help you change the way that you view these things and not view it as just like annoying, frustrating stuff, but most likely it's something deeper, something internal with you, maybe you were, I didn't talk about this one, but maybe a belief that you have inherited from your family was like, you just say yes to everybody. You do things because it makes them happy. You put your needs aside and you say, sure, I'll take this stuff. Thank you so much for this stuff. And on the inside you're just like, really not happy with it.

It might be needing to change that belief that you have of I can't establish boundaries with people and you can. So anyway, I hope this episode was helpful for you. Thank you so much for listening. And before we hang up There is always at the end of every episode, just a little reminder to share these out, to share them with friends, to tag me on your Instagram stories as well as when you leave a review, listen to the last like minute of this episode.

There is a way to get a free surface clutter training video from me if you leave a positive review. I would so appreciate it. So thanks so much and I'll see you on the next episode.